Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
