so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize