You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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