Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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