thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
