We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
