i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
