sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
