I'm going to jail i love you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
