Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
