Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
