it hurts more in the daytime
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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