I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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