I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
