Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
