My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
