we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
