It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
