When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
