Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
