this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
