True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
