I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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