took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
