There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
