After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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