We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
