I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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