I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
