Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
