I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
