I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
