Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
