I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
