I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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