I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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