I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
