Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
