I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
