Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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