I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
