i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
