I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
