Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
