u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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