We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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