Jerry, you need to find god
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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