Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
