Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
