If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My vagina is officially offended.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
