it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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