I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
