You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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