So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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